Have you ever tried to force a change or had change forced upon you? Has that approach worked? I’ve learned forcing change rarely lasts.

In Switch by Chip and Dan Heath, the authors use a powerful metaphor: the rider and the elephant. The rider represents our logical brain, while the elephant represents our emotions. The rider can tug at the reins, but if the elephant isn’t convinced, it will eventually stop, turn around, or refuse to move forward.

So how do we guide the elephant down a new path? We don’t force it—we clarify, motivate, and shape the path.

Clarify the Change

When I first suggested homeschooling to my seventh-grade daughter, her immediate reaction was resistance. I realized I hadn’t explained what homeschooling would actually look like. To her, “homeschool” meant her mom as her teacher, isolated from friends. Once I clarified the structure—what a day would look like, how we’d balance academics with social time—the idea became less intimidating.

Clarity is the first step in any change. Vague goals like “I want to eat better” don’t work. Instead, define the change simply: “I’m going to cut out sugar for one month.”

Find Motivation

My daughter’s biggest concern wasn’t the curriculum—it was missing her friends. That was her motivation. By arranging for her to attend band and choir at the middle school, she could stay connected socially. Suddenly, homeschooling wasn’t about losing something important; it was about gaining flexibility while keeping what mattered most.

Motivation is emotional fuel. Whether it’s better sleep, more energy, or stronger relationships, identify what will keep you moving forward.

Shape the Path

Finally, we are constantly reshaping our environment. We moved our learning space near the fireplace, creating a bright, inviting classroom we all enjoyed. We adjusted the curriculum after a few weeks to fit our needs. Nothing is set in stone.

Shaping the path means designing your environment to support the change. If you’re cutting sugar, don’t keep candy in the house. Ask loved ones not to bring tempting treats. Small adjustments make the road smoother.

Lasting Change Comes From Alignment

Change isn’t about dragging the elephant—it’s about aligning clarity, motivation, and environment so the rider and elephant move together.

Whether you’re homeschooling, shifting habits, or leading a team, these three steps can help:

• Clarify the change so it’s simple and specific.
• Find motivation that resonates emotionally.
• Shape the path to make success easier.

If you’d like to brainstorm how to apply these steps to your own life or organization, reach out to me via email at Amanda@WhereTheRoadRunsOut.com. Let’s explore how to make change not just possible, but sustainable.